Wednesday, January 20, 2010

The deeper the thoughts, theres no more pain...

The Prince called me on the Thursday afternoon before his death. He had begun working in a sales position for a rather larger company since some time in November. He was doing well and loved the work he was doing. I always believed that sales jobs were perfect for drug addicts because they have the gift of knowing how to get the means to the ends. They are natural salesman, having the ability to talk their way into giving you what they need from you. But I digress.

He called Thursday afternoon like he called every other day. We had been trying to make plans to see a limited exhibit at MOMA. We discussed going that weekend and were deciding which fabulous place they wanted me to take them for dinner. We hung up with the understanding that we would speak again the next day to finalize our plans. That would be the last time I would ever hear his voice.

He and his girlfriend were inseparable. For the most part, they lived together. Mostly they stayed at his grandparents house, where he lived. Occasionally they would sleep at her grandmothers house, where she lives. Thursday night, his girlfriend was not feeling very well and after spending the day with her friend, decided to spend the night at her house instead of going home to him.

What happens next is sketchy. He and a friend went out for awhile. Supposedly to meet someone at the mall. They then went back to the Princes house to watch a movie on Blue-Ray on the new TV he got for Christmas. The friend left around midnight, the Prince said goodnight to his grandparents at around 1 a.m. When they tried to wake him at around 730 the next morning he was gone. The police said it was instantaneous, that it happened somewhere around 1:15 a.m. The tourniquet was still tied to his arm.

His phone record show a phone call to the GF at 1:08. A few text messages go back and forth earlier in the day between the Prince and the friend he was out with discussing the need for "clean spikes" and the Prince asking the friend if it was possible to "shoot xanax". I don't know how long this was all going on and honestly, I guess it doesn't really matter anymore.

Heroin is epidemic where I live. A bag of heroin is cheaper than a six pack of beer or a pack of cigarettes and easier for our children to get their hands on. Heroin, was never the Princes drug of choice. I am still in a state of shock and disbelief. I am still numb. I can not believe I will never see him or hear his voice again.

Friday, January 15, 2010

This is the end, Beautiful Friend....

The Prince

Kenneth Charles

June 16, 1989 - January 8, 2010

My beautiful son, Kenneth Charles, the Prince, lost his battle with addiction last Friday and left this world for the next. He overdosed on heroin. I pray he is finally at peace with himself and will now find the peace he so desperately sought. I pray for all of you on the god awful journey we are on.

May he rest in Peace.

Tuesday, January 05, 2010

The first post of the year....

I have not smoked a cigarette in six days. Yay for me. As a result of said six smoke free days I seem to have lost my taste for coffee and wine. Is it possible to have given up all of my vices in one day? Not even on purpose? Is it possible all of my addictions were caused by my smoking cigarettes? I know, I know, not possible, but psychologically, I have had no interest in coffee or alcohol since New Years Eve. This is not like me. At all. Maybe it is because I have been really really concerned with my alcohol intake of late (this is not a great secret) and maybe the not smoking thing has lead me to a better path? I am not going to fool myself into thinking I do not have a problem just because I have not wanted to have a glass of wine, but maybe it will keep me on the clean and sober page for a while.

Which leads me to my next stupid question. And yes, I am being honest when I ask this... What exactly do you do to socialize that does not include alcohol? (I'm guessing since I have to ask this question, my answer should probably be: Go to a meeting!)

So Happy New Year and wish me luck...