Wednesday, January 20, 2010

The deeper the thoughts, theres no more pain...

The Prince called me on the Thursday afternoon before his death. He had begun working in a sales position for a rather larger company since some time in November. He was doing well and loved the work he was doing. I always believed that sales jobs were perfect for drug addicts because they have the gift of knowing how to get the means to the ends. They are natural salesman, having the ability to talk their way into giving you what they need from you. But I digress.

He called Thursday afternoon like he called every other day. We had been trying to make plans to see a limited exhibit at MOMA. We discussed going that weekend and were deciding which fabulous place they wanted me to take them for dinner. We hung up with the understanding that we would speak again the next day to finalize our plans. That would be the last time I would ever hear his voice.

He and his girlfriend were inseparable. For the most part, they lived together. Mostly they stayed at his grandparents house, where he lived. Occasionally they would sleep at her grandmothers house, where she lives. Thursday night, his girlfriend was not feeling very well and after spending the day with her friend, decided to spend the night at her house instead of going home to him.

What happens next is sketchy. He and a friend went out for awhile. Supposedly to meet someone at the mall. They then went back to the Princes house to watch a movie on Blue-Ray on the new TV he got for Christmas. The friend left around midnight, the Prince said goodnight to his grandparents at around 1 a.m. When they tried to wake him at around 730 the next morning he was gone. The police said it was instantaneous, that it happened somewhere around 1:15 a.m. The tourniquet was still tied to his arm.

His phone record show a phone call to the GF at 1:08. A few text messages go back and forth earlier in the day between the Prince and the friend he was out with discussing the need for "clean spikes" and the Prince asking the friend if it was possible to "shoot xanax". I don't know how long this was all going on and honestly, I guess it doesn't really matter anymore.

Heroin is epidemic where I live. A bag of heroin is cheaper than a six pack of beer or a pack of cigarettes and easier for our children to get their hands on. Heroin, was never the Princes drug of choice. I am still in a state of shock and disbelief. I am still numb. I can not believe I will never see him or hear his voice again.

19 comments:

Cat said...

I am so sorry for this traumatic loss, I cannot find words...

Mom of Opiate Addict said...

I wish there was something I could say or do that would make a difference but I am at a loss for words, other than I am so sorry for your loss.

Secretia said...

Heroin is the worst substance on earth. It has killed severl of my friends and family and is ruining families everywhere. I believe there is no stopping the epidemic. It's not just in your state, it's everywhere, and elementary school children know how to get ahold of it. I am almost crying right now

Syd said...

Kel, I am so very sorry about this. I don't understand the disease other than to know that I am powerless over it. Recanting his last few hours here is so very sad. Take care of yourself, Kel.

~ Tabitha ~ said...

{{ I'm grateful you and the Prince were on good terms of last,Kel }}

Sending you much love,as always.

T xoxo

Sarah Goodyear said...

I have never commented on your blog before but have followed it on and off for years. I hadn't looked in a few months and just clicked through. I am so profoundly shocked and saddened by the loss of The Prince. My heart goes out to you.

I have always admired your strength and passion and depth of heart. Please know that my prayers are with you.

Lou said...

I imagine myself going over every interaction, trying to piece together the events to find some peace of mind. The death of a child is a special and arduous grief. Please write about it, and know the support that is here online for you.

I pray for LaPetite. This must be effecting him also.

Madison said...

I am angered by the toll that drugs is taking on this generation. After that, I am stunned into silence by your loss. There are a lot of people/ drug companies/ doctors making a lot of money at the expense of addicted children. This is a heartbreaking story.

Fractalmom said...

I'm almost afraid to comment. you have the other part of the unending nightmare we all dread.

i'm so sorry.

Ann said...

I am praying with and for you and your family!!! I am soooo sorry for your loss!

jendeflumeri said...

I am so sorry for the loss of your son. I also lost my son, Don, to herion on March 10, 2007. He was off the drug for 5 months and when he did it once more it killed him. He was 26 years old and had so much to live for. I have gone to two psychics and I know without a doubt that Don was there. I truly believe in the after life and I know that he is with me in spirit every day. Since he is gone, I no longer fear death because I know I will be with him again and this is what keeps me going. I have moved from Long Island to be away from the sad memories of the neighborhood and have moved to Clearwater with my husband (not Don's father) who was a tyrant and a bully to me and Don. I know that Don wants me to have a happy life till we meet again. I love him so much. Jen

Gabriella Moonlight said...

I am so sorry for this, please know that my thoughts and healing prayers are with you and he as you make the transitions away from one another in the physical form.

much love
gabi

Her Big Sad said...

I can't conceive of the pain you must feel now. I know I can't know how you feel or find words to make it any better but I am glad you are writing about this. I hope you are able to find some comfort in the fact that you and your son were on good terms, making plans, and he knew how much he was loved. I hope you will continue writing.

I hate what this is doing to our children. I'm praying God will bless you with some peace today.

Tall Kay said...

I can understand the need to try to figure out what happened. So many unanswered questions...

Our local hospital offers support groups for people dealing with the loss of loved ones. There is great comfort in knowing you are not alone. I hope you will seek the answers you are searching for with others who have walked this path and reached the other side.

My prayers are with you and your family. Sending you a big hug.

Queenneenee said...

I'm so sorry to hear this horrible news Kel. Dammit. Heroin took my sister at 37. It's so ufortunate that there seems to be nothing anyone can do to rid the world of this killer drug. I send you big hugs and please blog away and talk about it if you feel the need, we will listen.

Anonymous said...

I am so sorry for your loss.

abbie said...

I finally got around to checking up on friends and fam here in blogosphere. Words can't express the deep grief you must feel. Please know that we cry with you, knowing that God will keep your baby boy, now. So sorry. Damn addiction.

Barbara aka Layla said...

So deeply sorry for your loss...i hope you keep writing here, I hope it helps you in some small way to share. You are living the worst fear many of us have. No one should ever have to live this nightmare. Thinking of you...

~ Tabitha ~ said...

Just dropping you off some extra ♥