Tuesday, September 09, 2008

When she couldn't hold, oh, she folded...

Just want to say Thanks to all of you for your advice and support regarding La Petit on my last post. It means alot.

Not sure where this post will go today. I'm in kind of a cranky, mad at the world, feeling really anxious kind of mood. Can't seem to get back into a schedule or a routine with the back to school thing. Caught La Petit in a lie last night, straight on, boldface lie. Said he did his math homework, on the bus, and threw out the paper where he showed the work. Long story short, he couldn't do the work so he looked up the answers in the back of the book and just copied them down in frustration.

Am I such a nasty evil mom that he is afraid to come to me to ask for help? I had no problem siting with him for an hour helping him through it, that is, after I dug deep into the trenches of my memory to recall eight grade algebra. I actually really enjoyed sitting with him and think he got alot out of it. I just cant understand his thinking that he would rather get in trouble for not doing/showing the work, not asking for help and falling further behind and just setting the stage for a really lousy year in school.

Tomorrow the monster that beat me a while back has his final court hearing before it is determined if the case will go to trial. I think this is really contributing to my stress and anxiety today. I have a very strong case against him. The Assistant DA handling my case said this is one of the lead cases in my county right now because he really has no shot of beating it if he chooses to continue to plead not guilty and insists on going to trial. This makes me feel alot better and very proud of myself for going forward and pressing charges. What he did to me was just so wrong. I am still not over it or OK from it. I don't know if I ever will be. However, truth be told I am not looking forward to having to face him in court. I will have to testify and I will be frightened. An order of protection is just a piece of paper and I know this monster and I know he thinks he is going to walk away from this or I will back down, and when both of those things don't happen, I am not sure what he will do.

So this is me, today, just trying to stay positive and remind myself, this too shall pass.


Syd said...

You have been through a lot that would make anyone anxious. But I also see your strength and resolve. I'm glad of that. I also hope that you will heal in time and realize that you deserve so much better than being beaten by an insane oaf. Stay strong.

Lou said...

I think you have no choice but to go through with the trial. If you don't, he could still come after you. Maybe this way he will get punishment at least. Those kind of people are very scary, and you are brave for not letting it stand.

AlkySeltzer said...

May the 'Force' be with you, through tomorrow, when you hear the hearing outcome, and throgh a trial, if there be one.

Head up, girl. You are fighting, not for just yourself, but for many who are beaten, and have not the courage to stand up...

Pam said...

1. 8th grade boys are just idiots. All of them...they can't help themselves ;)
2. Good for you for showing him that he can come to you.
3. Watch a bunch of movies where the women are real brave...you are one of them too.
4. I'm proud of you for going forward with this. It's hard to do the right thing sometimes.

Fractalmom said...

hang in there. If its' any consolation at all, i raised four girls and only one boy. although the issues were much different, the boy was MUCH easier than the girls. they aren't hysterical, crying constantly or having as many body image issues as girls...LOL

my son stole, cheated, drank and messed with girls. he is happily married and productive today.

it does, in fact, get better.

and hang in there on the court thingy.

my thoughts and prayers are with you