Friday, September 12, 2008

You can't always get what you want..

It's over. He plead guilty. I will not have to go to trial and I will not have to face him. When the monster arrived at court he thought he was still going to push this and try to get over. That is until the arresting officers arrived in court behind him. His lawyer advised immediately that he plead guilty. That going to trial was not something he wanted to do, he had no shot, no chance of beating these charges.

He will be sentenced on November 6th. My order of protection will remain in place for 5 years. The DA asked the judge for jail time. It is very unlikely the judge will do that. He said she is leaning more towards a very long term probation, as he is a "menace" and she wants to be able to monitor him. He will also be required to attend some kind of anger management and substance abuse classes. I will receive restitution for the damages done to my home. I am going to write the judge a letter asking her to reconsider and at least give him a little jail time, and to consider awarding restitution for my out of pocket medical expenses and the locksmith costs for changing my locks. He said it is possible. He said it is also something the probation department will consider as part of the terms of his probation.

I am pleased with the outcome. I would have been more pleased if he had been sentenced to, I don't know, maybe a public lynching? But he had to stand in front of the judge and say he was guilty of all the charges, and that is what I wanted. OK, I still want the public lynching too, but still.

I thought I would feel more vindicated. I don't. Yes, I am glad it is over. I have closure. But I am sad. Sad still, that this was done to me. Sad that these things happen every single day with much, much worse outcomes. I am lucky to have gotten out of this alive. I know this. I am just not a violent person and I still have a hard time comprehending this whole thing. It is all still a blurr to me. Little bits and pieces of memories that I can not fully focus on because it makes me absolutely cringe to remember it. That I would allow myself to be treated that way. So many months of such abuse.

But, it is finally over. Another chapter closed. Getting stronger every day.

12 comments:

AlkySeltzer said...

Carry on Kel. Realize that when you blog your experiences, part of the carrying is done by us--out here. And you ALWAYS have your Higher Power to carry the load which is too heavy for you.
Peace, and Love

Syd said...

I'm glad Kel that he plead guilty. And I'm glad that you realize now how you deserve so much better than a man who is so low that he beats up women. Be glad that you don't have to go down that road again--ever.

Beth said...

The getting stronger part is the only thing that matters lady. But, I'm glad he got his just desserts!

Sobermojo said...

As I read more and more blogs on recovery it's amazing to me how much we all go through when faced with this disease either directly and indirectly. Good thing we learn to live our lives again. I enjoyed reading your blog and good luck.

Lou said...

Sigh of relief for you.

Heather said...

I'd probably want the public lynching, too. At least he did plead guilty. It will forever be on his record now. Maybe it will spare someone else from the same fate at his hands. You should be proud, Kel. It takes a lot of courage to face someone who has hurt you.

Steve is right, as usual. :0) By sharing your experience, you allow the rest of us to share your load. Your HP has a plan for you and will provide what's needed. Just know that you are not doing this alone. I care what happens and I'm sure there are many others who feel the same way that I do.

*Hugs* to you. Keep your chin up and your eyes wide open. I'm proud of you.

~ Tabitha ~ said...

I'm proud of you for standing up for your rights Kel.You went through with this and I understand you feel sad.I just hope as you close this chapter you can turn tha sadness into continued courage in your new chapter.You are growing and I wish you all the best for the future pages in your life my friend..Thanks for sharing.
xo

Fractalmom said...

YOU did well. The courts? well, they didn't do as well, but YOU did and that is all that is important :)

Shadow said...

hiya! found you over at tab's. i don't know the whole story, but by the sounds of it, it isn't a nice one...

court is horrid. justice is slow. and fair? also not always. i've very recently also had to attend. although no physical/property damage could take place, 'cause they were 'discovered' before they could do anything, and even though they got 2 years, i know how you feel. public lynching? i'll sign a petition there, just (half) kidding. good luck in the future. i hope all goes well for you from here on out!

Pam said...

I guess that sometimes we just take what we can get in regards to vindication. I agree-he had to say he was guilty and that is something. Now...OK...let's begin a new chapter...one of great adventures and learning and lots of fun stuff.

sKILLz said...

I'm just getting to know your blog and shit but from what i'm reading here I'm not diggin that shit at all.
ANY man that puts his hands on a woman to hurt her or abuse her is a fucking PUSSY in my mind. Go fight a man or just be a fucking man and not raise your hands.
My moms went threw mad shit like that ad so did I when I was a kid.
Anyways hope to get to know you better.
Stay Up!
sKILLz

vicariousrising said...

LOL a public lynching. I'd go for that.

But seriously, I'm so glad you followed through on this and that he is being punished. I hope you are beginning to truly heal.