Friday, August 24, 2007

I'm not myself and I don't know how...

Syd tagged me earlier this week and even though I have done this one before, I will do it again, since I am too emotionally exhausted to write a real post.

8 Things about me
1- I am a terrible money manager and I use shopping as a form of therapy and as a result I have acquired way too much debt and entirely too many pairs of shoes.
2- I no longer feel like I am pretty and this bothers me way too much.
3- I just had botox injected into my forehead. I love it and I want more.
4- I have no idea who I really am.
5- I wish every day that I was someone else or living someone elses life.
6- It breaks my heart that my children got screwed when it comes to their parents.
7- In spite of that, I really do believe in my heart that I am a good mother and have done and will continue to do the best that I could. I just wish someone else would acknowledge it once in a while to reinforce it for me.
8- There are a few people in my life that really do love me and I can usually count on them. I just need to learn to reach out when I need to and believe that I am worthy of love.
And that's it for today kids. Wishing you all a peaceful weekend filled with love and serenity as the summer winds down.


Tab said...

1.damn..wish we shared the same shoe you I'd kill myself walking in your heals!(not funny to be in debt though.nope.)

2.we are one hot jump back and kiss'yerself! lol now you will always looks surprised?! is worth investigating I assure you :)

5..ooohh ..careful what you wish for..remember the movie freaky friday?!

6.they didn't get screwed by you.nope. are an AMAZING mother got my numba xo

Tabster :)

pat said...

You know, Kel, this is way way too sad. We really need to talk.....You have completely lost your own self somewhere in the mess of all those addicts/alcoholics that have affected you.

Scott said...

save this list Kel, print it out and save it... trust me... pull it out in a year, two years, etc. See if anything as changed :)

God Bless!

Trudging said...

What sizes shoes are you? Hang in there!

Syd said...

Kel, I agree with Pat. The list makes me sad. From what I see, you are a beautiful person. From what I read, you are being and have been a good mother. Maybe you need to find some more Al-Anon meetings. The more you go to, the better you'll feel. Talk with your sponsor. Hang in there.