*****EXPLICIT LANGUAGE WARNING*****
If the over use or abuse of the F word offend you... please stop reading now, cause I am in a vicious vile mood...
Ok, so now that the warnings are out of the way, let me just say this. MOTHERFUCKER. I feel as though the last 2 years of my life and my time and my money been pissed away in vain. I have not spoken to the Prince since Sunday. He is actively drinking and I am quit sure he is using again as well. My guess is weed, and I am almost certain he is using coke again.
I mean, WHAT THE FUCK. Seriously. Is this kid on a suicide mission or what??? He has been out of rehab for 11 days. He has come home stumbling drunk at a minimum of 2 of those days. (yes, Tab, my soul sister we are living parallel lives) The amount of money he has gone through leads me to believe he is using again. My in laws called us over for a " family meeting" tonight, due to his behavior to set boundaries or make decisions. I refused to go. If this fucking kid wants to kill himself, then do not let me stand in his f-ing way. Seriously. i am so trying to let go and work a program, but how exactly am I supposed to do that when every time I am supposed to go to a meeting, he fucks up and I am either expected to come clean it up or I need to be home to take care of La Petit. To top it off, the AH goes to his parents, spends 3 hours there, during which time I find a bottle of vodka and a bunch of empties hidden under his bed and when he gets home he has little or nothing to say about what was discussed, only that my kid is a fuck up, and he cant wait till he ends up in jail so he doesn't have to deal.
So, really, someone, please enlighten me. What the Fuck do I do now??? I can't save this kid, I get this now. But I cant take a fucking bat to his skull either. I am just so fucking done, someone, please stick a fork in me. I am just so disappointed. I am just so sad. i just want it to stop. Really, I get it, I am a bad mom. I have been tried and convicted.