Monday, April 30, 2007

Welcome to the Jungle...

This is the Prince's hand, and in it is a white welcome key chain from NA. We went to our first meeting Saturday morning. All I can say is WOW. It was really great. The group ranged from the Prince's age to a few men in their 60's. Some had been clean a few weeks, some had 15 years or more. They welcomed him AND I with open arms. When I introduced my self as his Mom the whole group broke into applause. They thought it was wonderful that I was there with and for him. So of course it even got to be all about ME at an NA meeting too!!!
The group gave him a list of phone numbers and names and all welcomed him to call at any time. He looked a little bored some of the time, and I wasn't sure if he was just there cause he had to be or because he wanted to be, but, hey, he was there right??? I think he will get more out of these meetings than he has gotten out of the program. He has always felt strongly that only people who have been where he has been can relate to his problems. I was concerned when he introduced himself and he said his name and that he was in recovery. He did not say he was addict which scares me, thinking maybe he doesn't think he is an addict? He is also such a shy kid. Not to mention a Mommas boy!!! He made me come outside with him during the break, where all of the members went out to smoke and I do mean ALL. I haven't smoked since October 13th and I have to say, I had NO desire to light up!!! Yay me! He also made me walk him to the bathroom. I spoke to other members and they said it would be OK for me to attend meetings with him for a while and that hopefully, in time, he would feel comfortable enough to come on his own and will hopefully get himself a sponsor, etc. and wouldn't need me to come along. At that point, they will direct me to Nar-anon for meeeeee.
We plan on going to 3-4 meetings a week. He does not want to try another area for a meeting, he liked it where we went. I still want him to try another place just in case he needs it sometime. I feel a little hope for his future now. I know it will be rocky for him, but at least now that he has found the rooms and has heard others stories, he will know he will always have support and he can always come back.
So, a big shout out to all of my sober blogger peeps who have written so eloquently about the magic of the rooms, as I knew from reading of your experiences, that we would be welcomed with open arms.
Still no word from the Italian and as every day passes, it hurts a little bit less. He is back with the ex-girlfriend. I know this because she is actively harassing me again. Lots of hang up blocked calls, nasty emails, etc. And you know what? She can have him. I do deserve better (thank you all of my buddies who helped convince me of this with all of your comments!!!) and some day, I will find it. Right now, I need to focus on my Prince and getting him through the rest of this program and hopefully out of HS in June, selling my house, and finding my place.
I am still feeling so much anger towards my Mom and everyone else around me, but I am trying to contain it and not be evil to everyone. Alienating myself will get me nowhere. Its just something I do, when I hurt, I lash out and hurt those that I love most. I try to build up that wall to protect myself and I am thinking maybe there are better ways of dealing with the pain.
Monday Morning Gratitude
  • I made it through the weekend, even without a man in my life to love me.
  • Little colored key chains marking milestones. Talk about your positive reinforcement!!
  • My dad still in the hospital, but he is still here.
  • Almost 7 smoke fee months and no desire to light up!
  • Fun downloadable ring tones for my cell phone. Now when it rings, it makes me smile a little.
  • The possibility of maybe finding a place in rooms with my Prince.
  • My blogger buddies, who just get me, even when it seems that no one else does.
  • My Rangers winning it yesterday in double OT
  • Sunshine and a long weekend coming up... going away with my gurlies.

Peace and love to you all.


Syd said...

Thanks for writing about the Prince and his welcome at NA. It is wonderful how all of these programs welcome and surround the newcomers with warmth and love. Also, thanks for stopping by to post on my blog. I've added a link to yours as well.

Trudging said...

I am glad that it worked out. I started out in NA myself.

Anonymous said...

I, as you probably know, am an NA member. And I was so excited to read this post! I started off with one of those key tags, too, kel -- just like that one you posted.
I hope he continues to attend. Don't worry about if he looks bored sometimes --I still get bored occasionally at meetings, too. Don't worry about how he identifies or introduces himself --all of these things will come in time if he continues to attend.
Yes, checking out several meetings is a good idea -- they are often quite different from each other and he may find one likes even better.
Have him buy a Basic Text so he can start to read the literature, k?
I am excited for both of you!
Keep coming back --it really does work.
Peace to you and to Prince,

vicariousrising said...

I carry around my keys on a 90 day key tag from NA even though I never did drugs because on my 90th day all I could get to was an NA meeting and they welcomed me with open arms. A very terrific group. I'm so glad they're letting you tag along too and that your son wants you there as well. That's pretty cool. One day he probably won't want you there either. That will be pretty cool too.

Things are looking up today, girly!

working mom NYC said...

Hi Kel--
Wow, that is such a positive post. I am really happy for both of you. Meeting Makers Make It! (One of the sometimes nauseating but generally true phrases that get bandied about the rooms). As Scout says, don't worry that he doesn't immediately identify himself as an addict. Many people in my AA meetings have said that it took them a long time to announce themselves as alcoholics. As long as he goes to meetings, he will hear the message, and hopefully the seed will be planted. It's so important for adolescents to have a peer group that accepts them. For both our sons' sake, it would be great if they seek the approval of sober peers who don't judge them, but who encourage them to stay clean and do the right thing regarding school, etc. A big hope, but hey - ya gotta dream!

Tab said...

way to go smoke free Kel!

Your son has his own evaluation of his drug and alcohol activities Kel.He always will.

As Mother's ,the best we can hope for today is that our boys(young men now!)stay safe and healthy for today.

It is entirely up to them to decide if they have an addcitive tendancy or not.

And it is entirely up to us Moms to let our kids go to figure that out.All the while knowing they have loved one's who believe in them.

Thank you for sharing Kel..I wish the Prince all the best.