Tuesday, May 01, 2007

I deserve it....

The Italian just called. He called from his work phone, not the cell phone so it just confirms that he is with the ex again. I also checked his cell phone bill online (can you say Stalker??) since he had asked me to set it up for him months ago, as he is computer illiterate.

He asked me to take all of his information off of my computer and said that I lied to him last month about an insurance bill that I said I paid for him online, that it was paid by money order instead. Whatever. She is lying to him. She always has. She stole from him, hid bills from him, etc. She also changed my number to her number on his cell phone, I guess she wants to know if he is still calling me. I would rather be alone than not be able to trust who I am with. They are sad and they deserve each other. They both lack self esteem, and can't be alone. I mean, how do you jump from one relationship to another in a matter of days? It was a quick phone call. I didn't say much and I am resisting the urge to call back. I am trembling a little bit.

Why am I letting this bother me so much? I honestly think it is all ego. I am having dinner with his ex-wife tonight, We are good friends. I miss his kids. I should probably just severe all ties with them. It will be hard not to ask questions about what is going on, she will probably offer it all up to me.

I deserve better than this piece of sh*t Italian A-hole. Why don't I believe it?

....Later that same day.....
Ok, sometimes I feel so pathetic that I really cant stand myself. The phone conversation with the Italian has been bothering me all day. I have NOT called back and I guess that is why I am posting another blog. I am alot of things, but I am NOT a liar. This psycho ex who has apparently crawled right back into his women beating arms, is right back to her old lying tricks. The thing that broke them up in the first place. And he is so naiive that he believes her lies and is now calling me the liar, and I so badly want to defend my self and set the record straight and tell him that she is still f-ing with his stuff behind his back, and that he is just setting himself up once again, but you know what, whatever. Right? Why do I have to feel the need to fix hi after the damage he has done to me?

7 comments:

ME, myself, & I said...

you will believe it in time... it takes a while sometimes.

vicariousrising said...

You really do deserve so much better. I know what you mean about wanting to defend yourself, but if you try, they will only try to take you down. The best way to keep your head up is by not putting it anywhere near them and their swinging axes.

Easier said than done, I know. But let them take each other down. You don't have anything to prove to them, and even if it were 100% irrefutable, would those two nuts believe you anyway?

Hang in there, sweetie. I'm pulling for you!

Contrapposo said...

That is part of what my blog name means although you won't find it in the dictionary (at least I couln't) What comes around goes around, no matter what, no matter where, no matter when. And we don't always get the opportunity to see the pain people cause themselves, but I do believe it.
Have not followed the whole story, just started this blog thing not too long ago. Thanks for sharing,and honesty, and letting me know I am not the only one who gets angry.....:)

Tab said...

At some point Kel..You will realize you will never get the love in your life you hope for till you believe you desereve it.
And believe me Kel..you DO deserve it.

Sober Chick said...

I second Tabster (she is a wise one that Tab). When we begin to believe in ourselves completely (takes time and work :) many wonderful things begin to happen to us and for us. It is not an easy art, if it were we would be creatures that are pretty boring :)

nikita said...

dont waste your time - you know the truth..and thats all that matters. believe in yourself and know that you deserve better.

Syd said...

Kel, I wouldn't be around him, his children or the ex-wife. Let him alone. He has laid down his boundaries and made himself clear. Just listen to what he is saying and believe that you do deserve better. He isn't going to make you happy because you've got to do that. I would just move on as quickly as possible and put this guy behind you. It's hard to do but if you make him your HP, he'll drag you down and disappoint you.