Last night my La Petit prince returned from his day day vacation in San Francisco. He had a wonderful, peaceful time. He was so happy, he was gushing. After I picked him up from the airport, we picked up the Prince and and their Dad and we went out for dinner. The conversation quickly, as always, turned to the Prince and the program. It seems two new kids were admitted. They are active, known, gang members. Nice. Just what I need. Something else to worry about. The Prince was called into a special "meeting" behind closed doors. He thought he did something wrong yet again. The counselors explained that anything spoken about would be held in strict confidence. They asked if he knew or had heard anything about the "newbies" being in a gang. Surprisingly, he told them what he knew, he is very anti-gang. He then gave me a brief education on gangs and gang culture. About displaying their "flags" and if they don't, the consequences they will risk if the gang finds out. Very interesting, but scary that these kind of things go on right under our noses in our little safe havens of suburbia. So glad I chose a nice, private, expensive program for him and I still have to worry about gang bangers.
So anyway, the conversation turned towards drugs and drug use, and it didn't get "heated" but I guess we have our own little way of communicating, and it could sound a little antagonistic, and La Petit Prince, started to get upset and started crying. I guess my family in California didn't have heated discussions at the dinner table and I could just see how sad it all makes him and how didn't want to be there. He went to the bathroom to calm himself down and we tried to explain to him that just because we seem to argue a bit, we still all love each other and our way of communicating may need to be tweaked a bit, but we are a family and we all love each other despite our flaws. This is just us. I feel for him, he really feels the pain of the last few years, and in retrospect, we should have kept the conversation focused on him since he was gone for the last 10 days. I was just briefly happy to be a normal family without drama for a little while.
All in all, it was still a good night. I was happy to be with my boys, both of whom I love so dearly. I am hopeful for a positive future.
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My son M is still extremely resistant to doing the schoolwork he is assigned at the rehab - keeps saying the treatment center is making a big deal out of nothing, but he can't bring himself to buckle down & do his math homework. Thus, he is still in Orientation and hasn't even made the progression into Early Treatment, which usually happens by 30 days (he's been there for 72 days). He won't earn any privileges until he submits - but he is holding on to a very stubbornl attitude. I hope that a level of acceptance dawns on him so that he can start to make some progress. He has achieved some attitude changes, but it's slow going.
Last night was graduation night at the rehab and one of the 16-year-old boys was preparing to resume his junior year in high school and take care of his 3-month old daughter. He looked like such an awkward adolescent up there on the stage - the idea of his being a father is unfathomable to me.
Oh, my heart hurt for your Little Prince when I read this one. My nephews, now grown, are about the same age span as your boys and share a sort of similar story.....
Guess what? It has a very, very happy ending, kel.
Peace to you,
Scout
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