Monday, January 08, 2007

Ticking away...

I am having a really hard time learning to let go of so many things in my life that I need to let go of. I know that it is time to move forward and divorce Asshole. I know he will never stop drinking and will never be the man I need for him to be and I know I will never love him that way or want to have an intimate relationship with him again. And yet, I can not seem to let go.

Since the prince is living with his grandparents, I am fooling myself into believing that I am letting my controlling issues go, but in reality I am just displacing these feelings.

I feel like such a failure as a parent, as a wife, as an employee, and as a person. I know this too shall pass but when? When will I grow the F up and take care of business???


Tab said...

You are growing right can call this phase a growing pain phase if you like but do NOT ever call yourself a failure Kel.
I am back online ... your email struck a cord with me today.
Thanks for thinking of me.
You be sure to keep in touch..
that coffee date is on!
Love Tab xo

Scott W said...

It all starts with the first step. Then put one foot after the other. You can do it.

A Life Inspired said...

I know what it is like to ache, struggle to let go, and be caught in inmobility. My Christian faith really helps me. I agree with Tab and Scott W's posts. You are in a season_and season's pass. And it's been said the 'hardest thing' about change is the first step. You are in touch with your feelings and that is a huge first step to peace, love and joy.