Thursday, December 28, 2006

Another Auld Lang Syne

Merry Christmas. Happy New Year.

Somebody, please shoot me.

My dad spent all day Christmas vomiting into a garbage pail, we thought as a result of the chemo. When his legs completely gave out from under him the next morning, we weren't so sure anymore. We had to send him by ambulance to the hospital. They still don't know what's wrong. His readings are all off the charts, his blood counts continue to drop, they will transfuse him this afternoon, he still can not support his body weight or stand. Maybe it was another stroke, or maybe a tumor in the brain. He is just soo sick.

The prince spent Christmas day sneaking beer and hiding the empty cans around the house. Another dysfunctional version of hide and go seek the empty cans. My favorite find was under the bathroom sink.

My brother a large part of his Christmas day getting drunk, insulting and picking on me. Knowing how sensitive I have always been about my weight and my anorexic tendencies, he kept calling me fat and chubby since I gained a few pounds from quitting smoking. He managed to get the whole family in on the fun. Even the Italian. And then they will all be shocked and bewildered when I starve myself for a week.

Asshole has been on his silent vodka binge for his vacation. Not that I could really tell. I haven't been home. But you can smell it and see it on his face and hear it in his voice.

The Italian boyfriend is mad at me and not speaking to me because he took my mom and I to dinner after the hospital last night and then he was going to come in and I hesitated because my uncle was there and he got mad, said I disrespected him and then he left and when I called to try to make up he yelled and cursed at me and then hung up on me three times. I'm not sure if we are broken up now or not. I'm not sure I even care.

I just had a breakdown in front of my boss. Cried my eyes out. How very professional.

My idiot friend was thrown out of her place by her even bigger idiot boyfriend again and she wants to stay with me again and I don't want her too. I am having a hard time telling her this. She is lazy, doesn't work and lays around sleeping in my bed all day, while I am up at 6 and working all day. Her MO is she will stay for a week swear she wont go back to him then she does and I don't hear from her for 8 weeks until he beats her up again and then she shows up back at my house again.

This just can't be it.


Anonymous said...

What did you do about your Prince and all of his empties?
Did you call him on this?
Be firm in your boundaries Kel,
no matter how frustrated you get.
He has got to know you do not allow alcohol in the home , no more tip toeing around.This is it.IF he wants to drink,he can go somewhere else.Keep practicing your boundaries if you want that young man to eventually take you more seriously.This is all from my persoanl experience of may have another way and I dont' mean to sound like I am discrediting that by any means.
Been there done that and in fact,
called on my kiddo the other night about this and it was dealt with peacefully in a matter of minutes.
It can be done.One day at a time.

You sure are being challenged these days aren't you my friend?
The good news is,
this too shall pass,
as they say in program lit'
The bad news is days when it just
doesn't quit..those challenges that fence in your security and serenity.
Keep practicing moving forwards,one day at a time.YOur father is a priority I would can let your friend know it is not a good time for you to stay with you maybe?As for the boyfriend..didn't I nickname him Mr.Hangsuponyou in my last comment..ugh.It is your call .All of it is.And that is the blessing and curse isn't it?
No matter what Kel,you are stronger today than yesterday.I believe in you and I know you will get through this.I am sending hugs and support to you and for you father.
Please keep in touch and remember the offer is always open to email me.
By the way..crying in your boss may feel unprofessional but I do believe it is perfectly human.

Keep sharing,Love Tab xo

Anonymous said...

LOL..I am always so amazed at how much I have to share with you in my comments.You better be sure to come to the Port Of Vancouver next Summer a little earlier for that coffee date of!

Trudging said...

Happy New Year Kel! I pray that next year is a good one for you and yours.

Anonymous said...

Happy New Year Kel..I know 2007 is going to be a great one for you!
I wish you and yours all the best,
including the Prince..never stop believing in him even as you learn to let him go..(trust the process)

I am shutting down my are welcomed to email me anytime.

Keep taking good care of yourself..
and I wish all the best for your Father as well.

love Tab xo

Anonymous said...

Listen to Tab and Trudge. They are your voices of reason here.
Hope 2007 is a better one for you. This too shall pass, Kel. Honestly...

Redhead Gal said...

I hope things are better for you today, kel. What Tab says makes a lot of sense to me.