Friday, December 15, 2006

I used to do a little but a little wouldn't do it...

My mother is an alcoholic. My mother is my best friend. There is no other person in this world that I love more or would rather spend time with than her. Until nightfall when she starts with her wine. She was hospitalized for a week or so last winter for congestive heart failure. She had the DTs while in the hospital. Her alcoholism and poor diet contributed to her illness. She didn't drink for about a month after that. Then she went back. She didn't drink alcoholically when I was growning up, all though she was always a "drinker", probably never a normie at all. Her disease progressed the last few years while my father was getting sicker and sicker. She says she drinks to help her deal with her shitty hand in life and to help get her through this. She admits she is an alcoholic but does not want to get sober. I find it so sad. My whole family went to dinner earlier in the week, there were 9 of us. My husband and I, my little one, the Prince and his girlfriend, my Uncle and my Mother in law, and my parents. We had a drink at the bar while we were waiting for the table, and then we sat down. She proceeded to finish off a bottle of wine at dinner. She gets a little loud, never nasty, but louder than normal, and sometimes says inappropriate things. I hate to say that she embarrasses me or that she embarrassed the prince, but I had to keep telling her to "not say that". I just always wish these dinners would be different.

I was surprised to see that my husband did not drink too much at dinner. I thought maybe he was controlling his drinking. I know, stupid blonde. So the next night I can hear his alarm clock going off at 5:00 in the morning and its blaring and blaring so I go downstairs to shut it off thinking he must have gone to work early. The door is wide open, the TV is blasting the lights are on, there is an empty bottle of vodka on the counter, and no sign of him. So now I have to play find the passed out drunk before my younger son does. I finally found him passed out naked in the Princes bed. Real f-ing nice.

I think I read it in a comment that dAAve posted somewhere about this disease.... Cunning, Baffling, Powerful...

8 comments:

Tab said...

yEp...Daave is right about that..
but soon you will no longer have to play find the passed out drunk before the little one does.
As for your Mother not wanting to sober up..again..that is right with your Prince.They are both on thier own paths but you are learning new ways of living with these people you love dearly..you have a good head on your shoulders Kel.Blonde or not!...(I am blonde too)

Hope you are taking good care:)

Tab said...

ps.of course you can write your own gratitude list..!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

~MsManna~ said...

Hi Kel! I am finally tagging you back! If that is fair, anyway, wanted to share my weirdness with you too.

Each player of this game starts with the 6 Weird Things About You. People who get tagged need to write a blog entry of their own 6 Weird Things as well as state this rule clearly. In the end, you need to choose 6 people to be tagged and list their names. Don't forget to leave a comment that says you are tagged in their comments and tell them to read your blog. So when you get a chance stop by and read me!

I like your positivity. I need some tonight, just feeling lonely again and wanting things I really don't need yet! Gotta talk it over with my HP and my sponsor!

Trudging said...

Ah families can't live with them, can't kill them...

Tab said...

time for a new post..interested in knowing how you are doing..etc!
email me too anytime.

SCoUt said...

Is your mother my sister? Wow, I can relate to what you posted about her!!! AND, kel, I have BEEN the passed out, naked drunk in the wrong bed. I was sick, as is he. But you don't have to try to fix him or your Mom.
Listen to Tab. Please try Al-Anon, my dear. I just know you will find what you need there!
Peace,
Scout

Al-Anon Lifer said...

OMG, I am so grateful not to be in your shoes right now, and yet, if I hadn't experienced all I did as a child of sick people and the wife of an alcoholic, I would not be the person I am today. I would have not found Al-Anon and recovery and a loving Higher Power and the tools to take care of myself, the tools to learn to be "content whether the alcoholic is still drinking or not..." I also learned that that I have choices. I always have choices. I used to think I was stuck with who I was and it was everybody else's fault, even God's. As a dear friend said to me today, I fired that God a long time ago. Amen, Sista, Amen!

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