June 16, 1989 - January 8, 2010
Four years ago, my beautiful Prince lost his battle with addiction. He was 20 years old. I feel cheated. Still. I function in my daily life, but it has been an enormous struggle. My coping method of choice was alcohol. Wine, specifically, and lots of it. The pain was/is just too deep to bear. There have also been a few suicide attempts. Lots of self sabotage. It often feels just wrong to be alive and living in a world without him. 55 days ago, I realized my life had become unmanageable and I checked myself into a treatment center for alcoholism. I have not had a drink in 54 days. I am beginning to heal, very slowly from all that I have gone through in my life. Feeling things: good things. Not so good things, and sometimes very bad things. But I am feeling. And that is a beginning.