Monday, March 21, 2011

Another mother's broken heart is taking over...

I forget the warm feelings I find after receiving comments on one of my posts, from others in our little corner of the blogshpere, and I thank you, I forget how much comfort I once found in blogging regularly.

Received a phone call this morning that a bed will be open for La Petit a week from Tuesday at the residential facility we are looking into. It is over 4 hours away and we have no guarantee that the insurance will authorize treatment until he is physically at the facility and they do an intake. Another week of keeping him on lock down. It will not be easy. But then again, nothing ever is.
The weekend was drama and stress free other than the fact that he is getting anxious and wants to go back to school and he wants to see his friends.

This all still feels like a bad dream. I still find it difficult to accept the fact that the Prince is dead. At times, it will hit me like a brick and I can literally feel the air being forced from my lungs and breathing can be difficult. And I have ask myself, did this really happen? Is he really gone? Has it really been more than fourteen months since I have layed my eyes on him or spoken to him? Will I really never see him again? And the pain is just too much too endure.


Kay said...

I'm sorry for your suffering. I sympathize. It's awful. Hang in there, like you are doing. Yes, there's a chance things will go bad - but there's also a chance things will get better. You are not alone. God bless!

Pammie said...

I think of you and him often sweet Kel. I see so many young people in meetings now and I always go out of my way to introduce them to people and show them love because I know that there is always a Mother out there praying that "this time" it will work for their child.

Tori said...

I really can't begin to tell you how sorry I am that you are going through this again.

I have a 20 y.o. (boy) heroin addict who is living with his Grandma. In rehab for 30 days relapsed 3 days later.

Through all of this crap that we have had to deal with one of my biggest fears is that my 12 y.o. boy will follow in his beloved brother's footsteps.

I read many of your past blogs several months ago. It broke my heart that you had to experience the nightmare all of us Parents worry about when having an addict for a child. When I saw your recent post it both shocked and scared me.

I pray for you and your son. It is so sad that addiction found its way back to you. I hope that your son will get the help he needs and you can keep him there as long as possible.

Syd said...

I am sorry Kel. I have nothing to offer in terms of thoughts about children. But as I have written here so often, you also have to take care of yourself. Your son has to want to be better. I hope that he does.

LisaC said...

Kel, my heart hurts for you, because of your loss and now the issues with your younger son. I only have one son and he seems to be winning his fight against heroin, but it is a fight every day.

Your love and your strength is apparent, but you must find a way to take care of yourself. You are in my prayers.

Sherry said...

I've said a prayer for your son and you! Unless someone has lost a child, they can't truly relate to what you're going through, or have been through!

Beth said...

Good to hear from you after such a long respite. I'm sorry that you do not have better things going on in your life and that it seems like your back on the long ride.

I will add my prayers to others for the health and well being of both you and La Petit.