Monday, April 04, 2011

I couldn't walk and I tried to run...

Last week, at a restaurant, I was asked the dreaded question, "Do you have any children?" I squirmed and hesitated a bit before looking over at my date for some reassurance or maybe just some assistance before the woman asked again, "Is isn't that difficult of a question". I then explained my situation. She was apologetic and after the moment of awkwardness passed, we went about the business of enjoying our meal. I didn't go on the share with her that my younger, only existing child, is currently locked away in a rehab facility 400 miles from my home. Friday night I was feeling a bit sad and weepy about my current situation and reached out on the FB to a friend of mine that I met at the cemetery where both of our children are buried. Within an hour, she and another MOA (Side note: In our case we use this acronym to mean "Mother of and Angel" but I have seen it referred to Mother of an Addict in our corner of the blogshpere, but technically I am both. Can you say Epic Fail.) had arrived at my house tissues in hand to help me lift my spirits and feel better about who I have become and how I have landed here. Sometimes though, I have to remember the blessings in my life, like the gift of good friends that have walked in my shoes and who love me and understand.

8 comments:

Annette said...

Epic fail? Do you mean that you failed? I don't beleive that. If I beleived that, then there are a lot of parents in this world who carry the blame for their addicted child. We simply aren't that powerful. If we were we would have cured them already. Be gentle with yourself mama. ((HUG))

Pammie said...

Sending you a very warm Texas hug, for as long as you want the hug to last!

Syd said...

You aren't an epic fail. I don't like questions that are personal, but I suppose that they naturally come from those who are curious and attempting to make conversation. I wish the best for La Petite. And you take care of yourself, Kel.

Tori said...

I agree with Annette - It is good to hear that your son is in treatment. My prayers and thoughts are with you.

Beth said...

No, I can't say Epic Fail, because you are no such thing.

Addiction--Mom trying to Detach with Love said...

I love that Annette points out we aren't that powerful and if we were we would have cured them already. You are not an epic fail and I am keeping you and your son in my thoughts and prayers.

~ Tabitha ~ said...

Sometimes people who have not walked in your shoes - can be good friends.
Angels come into our lives in all different manners.I feel your spirit open to welcome light and healing,even during your darkest moments.I am grateful you have friends with tissue boxes and warm shoulders to be with when you need them.I am always sending you and family the love my friend.Always.
xo

Pat Moore Foundation - Drug Detox said...

Unfortunately I know exactly about that awkward pause... where you don't know quite how to answer the question. Sometimes I even consider lying, so as not to make the asking person to feel uncomfortable. But in the end I always go with the truth.

My sister suffered a similar fate to your son. I don't know if you would be interested in ever sharing your story on another blog other than your own. But if so we'd be honored to have you contribute as a Addiction guest blogger (http://www.patmoorefoundation.com/blogs/guest).

Best,
Dawn Jackson
Online Community Engagement at Pat Moore Foundation
dawn@patmoorefoundation.com