Thursday, June 24, 2010

Nobody told me there'd be days like these...

Today I am celebrating, or really, NOT celebrating my first birthday without my Prince. Last week would have been his 21st Birthday. We had a small memorial at his grave as his headstone was in place a few days before, I passed out balloons and sharpie pens and we all wrote a message to him and launched the balloons in the air simultaneously. I invited his friends and my family back to the house for dinner. We made the best of a bad day, I asked that everyone dress in white and we celebrated his life. This is all entirely too painful. This never should have happened.

13 comments:

Dad and Mom said...

Nothing to say, just {hugs} from someone on another keyboard.

Fractalmom said...

My heart is with you. On Saturday, we will be doing the exact same thing, a balloon release for my daughter's best friend who died in the car accident (where her neck was broken). he would have been 20 years old this saturday. then sunday, we are having a memorial Mass said at church.

the pain never leaves, it just gets a wee bit duller through the years.

dawn

Syd said...

I am sorry Kel. Hopefully, time will ease the pain. It is a great loss. Take care.

Barbara said...

"Happy Birthday" seems inappropriate. The memorial sounds very meaningful, but you are right - this is not suppose to happen. I think of you almost every day.

~ Tabitha ~ said...

You are right,Kel.This should never have happened.I am still struggling to accept it..I cannot even imagine your pain and trauma by your loss.
And while it may be hard for people to extend their compassion in words,please know the world is still touched by your son's life - as short as it was.He left you with last warm memories from the holidays.He had a family,girlfriend and friends who loved and cared about him so much.
And he loved you Kel-and always will.So as your birthday is about to turn pages,I just know he's right there beside you this year just as you were for him last week.HUGE HUGS.
xoxo

Beth said...

I'm sorry the pain of losing the Prince is still new and raw. I'm sure remembering him still hurts especially given all the circumstances of his death.

(((HUGS))) The good news is You made it through. You are continuing to make it through, and that IS something to celebrate and be grateful for.

I'm sending good healing thoughts to you and your family. Take it one day at a time.

Sherry said...

I pray that it gets easier for you. This woman's son just died also and she just had a baby. I don't know if you read her blog yet: http://mamapundit.com/

She says that no one understands the pain unless they've lost a child.

Tanya @ TeenAutism said...

Your idea with messages on the balloons sounds beautiful. I'm so very sorry for your pain. Sending love.

libby @ ninesandquines said...

i found you from katie's site...just wanted to stop by and say hi, and to let you know that you are in my thoughts. i read your story and am so sorry for your loss. and all of the other challenges that life is bringing you....

Lou said...

Kel, you are in my thoughts.

I found this site as a place to leave a memorial. I had to stop reading the memorials, it breaks my heart. So many families have lived this nightmare. So many young people gone.

http://www.drugfree.org/memorials

SinnerSaved said...

hey, how r u?

Erin said...

I am so sorry for your pain. I will be praying for you.

An Irish Friend of Bill said...

Just popping by to say hi and let you know we are still thinking of you and are wishing you well. We would like to hear from you if you find the time..
((( )))) hugs