Thursday, October 23, 2008

S.O.S. Please someone help me...

I just got an email from La Petite's guidance counselor, telling me that he was seen smoking yesterday afternoon, off school grounds and after hours. There will be no disciplinary action. What the Fuck do I do now??? Can anyone say.... gateway???


Cat said...

Kel, its a long hard road into teenagedom - and let me tell you from first hand knowledge - i am finding it mostly sucks. Sorry - my oldest 16 yo was held at target security last night - I had to pick him and his friend up or the police would be called because they were caught shoplifting. I am stupified, if that is even a word. I hope you have better luck than I am having!

Syd said...

Was he smoking cigarettes? There's nothing to do about that I guess. If it were dope, then that's a different matter.

Fractalmom said...

Omg Kel. I don't even really know what to say.

After raising five kids, yeah.

I do know after the junkie, I was VERY much harder on the last two. And, I am harder on the grands. I put my money where my mouth is this go round.

I think it all boils down to personal accountability this time.

I am thinking that

a. the punishment has to fit the crime - so....

since you can no longer trust him, he should have all privileges revoked that require trust, i.e. going anywhere without you or your designated adult supervision.

lose the cell unless YOU need him to have it. have him give it over to you upon returning home. Turn it OFF when you get it, and before you give it back, check his texts and voicemails.

I wouldn't piss around. This one could be lost quickly, or saved quickly.

It is possible this is a cry for supervison and rules, something HE may not feel that his brother had enough of. Children, even older children actually want their parents to prove they care by restricting their ridiculous movement, even while they bitch the whole time about how unfair it is.

Good luck, and I will still keep you both in my prayers and thoughts.

Anonymous said...

I honestly don't know, Kel. I will pray for God's will for your life and La Petite's life. {{{{Hugs}}}} I'm only an email away.

Sober T said...

Ooooh boy! You really need to relax there, hon. You're not gonna do anyone any good if you have a nervous breakdown. Take a deep breath and try to calm down.

He may just be experimenting. Or not. You could try telling him that you thought he was better than that and that he can continue to go against your wishes and you'll do the same for him. Take his computer access away, his video games, his freedom etc. Ground him. Don't expect the school to do what it is that you have to do. Teach him that there are negative consequences for his actions.

Try to stop replacing that cigarette with a needle in your mind. You're preparing yourself for a tragedy that hasn't happened. If you treat him like a druggie, he's gonna end up a druggie.

Good luck.

Pam said...

hmmm, Why is the counselor calling about something AFTER school and AWAY from the school?
Oh darlin' Motherhood is so over rated.
Don't jump to conclusions if you can help it.....he could just be doing the normal macho school boy thing that leads to nothing more than bad breath.

~ Tabitha ~ said...

First of all - breathe.
My second born has smoked pot -
She's even been gawd awful drunk.
But she by no means is smoking cocaine like the first born nor all that other stuff.
Be careful not to project Kel
Just deal with it one day at a time..making sure to keep your bond with that boy close.Again..
try not to let fear get in the way of today.You'lle get through this.

oh that the book I bought you stuffed under the pile of other books you aren't reading.

PS.All of the above is just me,
your friend,sharing from my own
experience...You will learn from your own too.

pat said...

Keep the lines of communication open and listen listen listen.

Beth said...

deep breaths!! try not to lose it. and like pat said listen,listen, listen.

vicariousrising said...

I like Pat's advice. Maybe ask him about it in a non-judgmental way.

Good luck. Cigarettes are nasty.