I am not in such a good place in my head right now.
I am making a mess of the few good things I have in my life because I am needy, insecure and just plain broken.
I have been dating a nice man, a good man, a man with some issues of his own but issues that are by far way less than the freight train of baggage that I carry around with me.
I do believe I managed to screw it up this weekend, because I was feeling needy and insecure and was unable/unwilling to communicate and articulate my feelings and instead shut down, and shut him out and went back to my old game playing ways.
This man is 48 years old and doesn't do the game playing thing and I am pretty sure I have screwed it up permanently.
Ohhh, kel. Will you ever learn??
I am making a mess of the few good things I have in my life because I am needy, insecure and just plain broken.
I have been dating a nice man, a good man, a man with some issues of his own but issues that are by far way less than the freight train of baggage that I carry around with me.
I do believe I managed to screw it up this weekend, because I was feeling needy and insecure and was unable/unwilling to communicate and articulate my feelings and instead shut down, and shut him out and went back to my old game playing ways.
This man is 48 years old and doesn't do the game playing thing and I am pretty sure I have screwed it up permanently.
Ohhh, kel. Will you ever learn??
5 comments:
It will work out the way it's intended to...in spite of anything you do or don't do. Now, quit pouting and go find some music to shake your arse to!! We'll have no sadness on Sunday!
Check out my blog and go play on wordle...it rocks! {{{{Hugs}}}} This too shall pass. :0)
Oh Kel, stop being so hard on yourself.
Sometimes with being needy, it is best to not communicate that. I have found that being needy is something that I can't thrust on another. I have to deal with those feelings myself and not expect anyone else to deal with it. So perhaps the new man will appreciate that you didn't discuss the neediness.
He doesn't do the game playing thing? We all have our moods, don't we? We're, certainly, not always giddy and playful. At 48, I would think he'd be mature enough to let you be moody without taking it personal. Course, what do I know about maturity, huh?
Don't take life so seriously. :o)
"...will you ever learn?" What a neat line I quoted from your blog.
On occasion someone will ask me, "Steve, how long would it take ME to learn how to play the violin like that?"
And, my 'stock' answer: "Well, I can teach you EVERYTHING you need to know--in about 45 minutes...and then it will take you TEN YEARS of LOTS of practice, and LOADS of patience. And if you are serious and diligent, you may then be able to play the violin fairly well."
Hope there's a lesson there! -grin-
Steve E.
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