My phone rang at 4:30 a.m. on January 2nd. We all know that a phone ringing at 4 a.m is never a good thing. It was my ex-father in law, telling me my Prince was being taken to the hospital via ambulance as he had been found outside the house, unconscious, barely breathing and wearing only a pair of sweatpants.
He gained consciousness a few hours later, but was way, way out of it. He was nodding, and he was bloated and his heart rate was irregular and his brain was not getting enough oxygen as he kept pulling out the oxygen tubes and ripping out the IV lines. He told me during one "awakening" that he had taken morphine.
It was determined that he had overdosed on Morphine. My guess is that it was heroine, but due to the privacy laws, they can not disclose what his toxicology reports showed. Since he told me morphine, and heroine shows up as morphine, they could only confirm to me that, that was in his system, in considerable amounts. I do not know if there were other drugs in his system, although I suspect there were. I love that I can pay for his insurance, and sit by his bed trembling in fear that he will not wake up, but he is entitled to privacy as far as to what almost killed him.
He was kept in the ICU for two days until they stabilized him and he was released over the weekend. Back to his grandparents house. They are quiet, proud people, who do not like to discuss these things, and I do not think there has been a consequence or any kind of ultimatums given to my son as far as seeking treatment, getting help or getting out. This disturbs me. I have also not spoken to my son since he was released. He does not return my phone calls. I am hoping that he is just feeling ashamed for his actions. But somehow, I don't think so. He was very flippant about the whole situation, like, "Yeah, so what, I did morphine, I didn't die". He has no recall of what happened to him that night.
So this is me, starting the new year, letting him go. I love him, but I can not watch him kill himself any longer.