Last night we met at my lawyers office to sign the contracts. My parents were meeting me there as well to sign the contracts on the house we are planning on buying together. AH was surprised to see them there. When I told them the reason they were there, he was shocked. I am thinking he did not think that I was really planning on buying this other house. As we were signing the contracts, it looked like he was going to cry for a moment.
My uncle took us all out to dinner to celebrate. It was bittersweet. I am thrilled to be almost rid of this house and out of this town that is just too painful for me to live in any longer. I am excited about the new house, the new start, the new beginning. It was awkward as my parents and La Petit were all talking about the new house and AH just sat there and said nothing. I felt sad for him. He doesn't ask any questions and sometimes he seems OK, and it makes me wonder if he is just as happy to be rid of me and our life. His lack of communication is disturbing. You can never tell what he is thinking, let alone feeling.
La Petit began his middle school career on Wednesday. Today, he is trying out for the track team. He is growing right before my eyes. He hasn't articulated it to me, but I sense he knows that his Dad may not be along for the ride much longer. There is so much change happening around me that I feel as though I am getting blown away by a strong wind. I only have two hands, I can only hold onto myself and La Petit. I just hope the others will be able to weather the storm without us. Because for the first time ever, I am not going to be there to clean up the mess that gets left behind.