Wednesday, January 08, 2014

Kenneth Charles
June 16, 1989 - January 8, 2010

Four years ago, my beautiful Prince lost his battle with addiction.  He was 20 years old.  I feel cheated.  Still. I function in my daily life, but it has been an enormous struggle.  My coping method of choice was alcohol.  Wine, specifically, and lots of it.  The pain was/is just too deep to bear.  There have also been a few suicide attempts.  Lots of self sabotage.  It often feels just wrong to be alive and living in a world without him.  55 days ago, I realized my life had become unmanageable and I checked myself into a treatment center for alcoholism.  I have not had a drink in 54 days.  I am beginning to heal, very slowly from all that I have gone through in my life. Feeling things:  good things.  Not so good things, and sometimes very bad things.  But I am feeling.  And that is a beginning.