La Petite is giving me alot of trouble lately. This is a bright kid, master manipulator, and the love of my life. However, he is pushing limits. He seems to have become fascinated with marijuana. I found an online screen name he created where his name is "Pothead". The little trollop that is his on again off again sweetheart sent him a text message stating that "La Petit is a pot head, but he is my pothead". I drug tested him randomly over the last week, and he is coming up clean. I think he thinks it is "cool" to talk about drugs and to pretend he uses them. We had gotten into a long conversation about how cool and funny it was when he brother destroyed his own life, our family life and the million other things he has done to hurt this family when he was using. It's always something.I feel he is looking to find a place he belongs. Unfortunately, he knows alot more about drugs than most of his peers based on what he has seen. I honestly thought he would be so very against drugs. I know I may sound like I have my head planted deeply up my backside, cause we all know how easy it is to pretend this isn't happening to "my" kid. I know better. I am just going to ride his little butt like nobodys' business and he better hope I do not so much as catch him spitting on the sidewalk.
I am trying really hard not to freak out, lecture and loose my cool with this kid. I am trying to be understanding. But let me tell you, it just isn't easy. I find myself detaching already, not letting myself get set up for the pain this could cause me. Instead of freaking out, I have told him calmly, on more than one occasion, that if that is the path he chooses, that he might as well pack up his crap and move in with his father, and I will gladly write the child support check each week and let him deal with it.
He should know I am not playing. I threw out his brother and cut him out of my life for using on more than one occasion and also had no problem putting his father to the curb. Good parenting skills? Doubtful. Self preservation? Absolutely.
12 comments:
and sometimes i think that when you hit a place in life self preservation is all that really matters... Cat
I hope you will find a way to do both Kel..Don't let fear make you choose.
xo
Don't you hate it when someone says only, that they agree with the former speaker/sharer?
Well, I agree with cat!
Motherhood is highly over-rated.
Ya know what I mean sista?
Hmmm. Motherhood is so freaking hard. I'm not looking forward to the teenage years.
Tough choices. And it ain't getting any easier for awhile...
you just have to go with you mom instinct.
addiction counselor? someone who specializes in teens who have been exposed to addiction in the family and then seem to be starting on the same road behavior wise?
that's the only thing I can come up with.
and if he refuses to cooperate, take away all his privileges, get rid of the trollop and find a boot camp to stick his ass in.
imho as always. I don't think i'd piss around too much. this one can be saved. and he is too freakin smart to lose to drugs.
Keep being honest and open with him... but in the end you do what you gotta do.
Dont over react. Teenagers experiment. Most of them end up fine. I hope to not be so rigid that my kids wont want to have a relationship with me once they finish being dope fiends or drunks.
Mine makes jokes about taking drinks in front of me, which I find rather appalling and offensive even though I know he doesn't mean it. I wish I knew what to tell you, but I am about as gobsmacked by this age as you are.
I do think you should perhaps consult some outside help, though. You shouldn't do this alone. Actually, my first thought was popping a line to TherapyDoc, if you've seen her blog, just for some basic starter advice.
And I agree with Cat too. And the others who say motherhood is freaking hard.
beep!beep!
My family all thought that I'd be dead set against drugs after both my parents using heroin all of my 12y.o. life, then my mom od'ing when i was 12. Then at 15, never having used anything before, I used heroin for the very first time. That type of situation can go either way. I hope everything turns out well. Good Luck.
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