Monday, May 12, 2008

Won't you take him when he comes to your door...


This is a picture of my father and I taken late last August. It is probably the last picture that we will ever take together, and I wanted to share it with you all.

My Daddy is dying. I'm sure I have posted in the past about his many medical ailments. He has been in the hospital since early December, switching back and forth for physical rehabilitation and back to the hospital. As he has had no success in the rehab, he is pretty much confined to bed, unable to stand up, never mind walk, he is incontinent, and just a very sick man, he was admitted to a nursing home a few weeks ago, which was basically just the rest stop to his final call. Last week he had another bad episode of Congestive Heart Failure, Pneumonia, Anemia, etc. and was rushed to the ER. He has been back in the hospital for over a week. He will not improve. At best, he will plateau, and we will transfer him back to the Nursing Home with Hospice care. He is not eating or drinking much and we refused a feeding tube. We signed a DNR. It is very sad. I do not think he will be with us much longer, and sadly, it is time for him to go. This man, who lies incoherently in bed, filled with cancer, fluids filling his lungs, his heart too weak to pump his blood properly, yelling, confined to a hospital bed, is not my Father. Or at least he is not the father I will choose to remember.


10 comments:

Beth said...

So sorry to hear about your Pop. I know it's not fun to watch people grow old, get sick and move on to the next life. Good/comforting thoughts to you and your family during this time.

Tab said...

Sending you and your family love and peaceful thoughts today.
xo

vicariousrising said...

My sympathies for your dad. I hope he isn't too uncomfortable. Don't forget to take care of yourself too.

BrokenHeartedMom said...

My dad went quickly,unexpectedly in a few hours. I think it is better than seeing a parent suffer, and then seeing the one you know slip away.May your family find comfort in one another.

Wife de Dingus said...

I'm so sorry Kel. Take care of yourself...

Misery Marketing said...

Thanks for making me cry on a Tuesday! Im glad that you are finding the celebration of his life while you are going through this pain. Im scared to go through it Kel. Its been 3 months-ish since the doc told me we were shooting for 2 years. Your at the back of the book and Im in the first chapter. I love my Pops. Thats why I bought a house two blocks from his 62 year old ass. It makes me sad to think about my kids having to go through this someday but its also the way its supposed to be. I know so many parents who've out lived their children and I can only imagine that pain compared to the natural life cycle of losing our parents.

Syd said...

I'm sorry about your dad. It is hard to see our parents fail in health. Both of mine went easily and quickly. But my mother had depression for years and lived to be a frail 95. It was tough to watch. Your love for your father is a great thing. Parents were there for us from the beginning and we are there for our parents at the end.

Jaqui said...

My prayers are with you and your family.

BrokenHeartedMom said...

hi,Kel. Just wanted you to know I'm thinging of you.
One day at a time...

sillypants said...

How is your father now? As you know I hate cancer's guts. It is an awful way to go. Your dad is my thoughts and I wish him comfort and ease. PLease keep us updated.