Tuesday, January 16, 2007

Procrastination Nation

Sometimes my ability to procrastinate and not take care of what needs to be taken care really affects my quality of life. Point in fact, I often think all day about posting to my blog, but because I haven't posted in usually a week or so and there is now so much to share that I don't know where to begin or end and I hate that I sometimes write little blog mini novels instead of entries, and I start to feel like does anybody really care about all the details and minutiae that I feel compelled to include?

So even though there is much to share since my last blog I will stick with the procrastination theme and share about how I really need to be divorced. My little guy, a.k.a. la petit prince, as I think I shared in my last entry has been screwing up in school a little and has needed me to stay completely on top of him and his every move. Well, long story short, I caught him playing with matches this weekend. After lots of screaming and drama I finally got to him and he told what has been bothering him. His father does not pay enough attention or spend enough time with him.

This is the same pattern that his brother The True Prince, started with. First he felt neglected by his dad, then he realized about the drinking, and then he felt he was hypocritical then it turned to anger and then true hatred. I know I need to address things, but I just cant deal with all the drama. It is so easy because his disease and personality makes him so unable to communicate or articulate or even to confront me that I can do what I want and all he does is gives me the silent treatment, which has been going on for weeks now, and he will live in the status quo, even though his wife and family are moving forward and moving on without him.

4 comments:

Trudging said...

Hang in there!

Tab said...

Alcoholism is a family disease but you can learn to detach with love and find new ways of moving on , helping yourself and your kids along the way Kel.I think you are doing that indeed.I hear your courage and compassion.
Soon you will have more ways you can feel better equipped to support your kids.They will always need a parent to reassure them they are loved and valued.In this case , that parent is YOU :)
You are a wonderful Mom ~
Love Tab xo
PS.This is my year to overcome procrasination..just haven't gotten to it yet..doh!

SCoUt said...

My middle name is procrastination....we don't care how long your posts are, kel. You write for you anyway, woman!
I will say the same thing I always seem to say to you -- Al-Anon!
Hope is out there waiting for you.
Peace,
Scout

Tab said...

hey Kel..how are you doing?
Post again when ya can..
Hope all is well.