Why?

Why can't he just come when he is supposed to be punished? Why does he have to push the envelope? Why can't he ever do the tight thing? When is that moment? When he decided he will just do what he wants, regardless of consequences? How much longer can I keep up the pissing fight? No one really wins. Can you be taught to respect? Do I need to increase the legnth of the punishment now? Will he even listen? Will he just keep grumbling around the house? Grunting and sneering at us? Its miserable. He is miserable and makes us all miserable. It is not fair. Are they all like this? Is it something I have done? Am I complete failure as a mother?