Thank you all for your input. It's funny how it even though I do not post very often, it is my first instinct to go to you guys for advice. And if you have read all the comments, your feedback confirmed what I already knew.
Long Story short, I broke up with the BF Wednesday night. Based on his online activities and some other stuff but I will write a longer post next week when I have more time.
In the mean time I am going out for dinner in Manhattan with my best girlies tonight. Its just what I need right now. They love me for me, flaws and everything.
These are my rantings about my life. Mostly about substance and alcohol abuse and the effects it has had on me and those I love. Either way, I will never give up. I am going to go out kicking and screaming.