Wednesday, July 30, 2008

Let's get to the point, let's smoke another joint...

"Marin said he thinks dope humor can be as funny today as it was back in the '70s.
"I think it's time for a revival of dope jokes. It's a much bigger audience now, it's much more widespread and institutionalized," he said in an interview earlier this month."
This is a direct quote taken from a newsite about the reunion gig of Cheeech and Choong. Dope humor needs a comeback? There is a bigger audience?? Widespread? As in acceptable?? Are they f-ing kidding me?
Drugs are stronger, more prevalent, cheaper and more dangerous than ever before. So lets make it really funny and sound like its even funner to do because our kids don't already have enough peer pressure.
I just don't understand the world sometimes. I really don't.

Friday, July 25, 2008

There's a new kid in town...

Good morning and Happy Friday!! Received a really great, supportive comment from a newly sober/new blogger yesterday. Why not stop by and show her some love from our great little community??

Thursday, July 24, 2008

I like studying faces in a parking lot, cuz it doesn't remind me of anything...

Today I am feeling frustrated. I am feeling angry with the Prince that he has not called to apologize for his behavior. Which means he doesn't think he is wrong. I am torn as to whether I should call him or wait it out. My gut is telling me to wait it out. He is leaving today for a short vacation down to the coast in MD with his g/f, La Petit, his dad, grandmother and Aunt. His dad's family. I am very pleased that their father is finally remembering he has a family and doing something with them and his family is participating. I am also banging my head against a wall because once again, the Prince is being rewarded and enabled. He is still not working and not even looking for a job. His grandmother must still be buying him his cigarettes and supporting him. So lets take him on vacation because he must be exhausted from partying all night and sleeping and/or doing nothing all day. He certainly deserves a vacation doesn't he?

My mom is going to have dinner with my brother and his girlfriend tonight. They haven't spoken since the blowout on my birthday (one month ago today). My mom has called him daily and he does not return her phone calls. His girlfriend set it up. My mom will bring him all of my dads jewelry and what ever other belongings my brother DEMANDED at the funeral. My brother will trash talk me all night, cry about how broke he is, even though he also does not work, he will complain about his health although he refuses to take care of himself, and my mother will walk away from the evening sympathetic to him and I will look like a martyr, as usual. Whatever.

I hate that my family is so dysfunctional. I really and truly hate it. I need to do some work on myself. I have to go back to detaching and letting go. To not owning other peoples crap. To continue to try to build the life I want for myself. To give up on the pity party and get on with it. Any volunteers out there to give me a good swift kick in the butt to set a fire up under me??

Monday, July 21, 2008

Come back, come back, don't walk away...

Had a big nasty blow out with the Prince this weekend. I invited him and the g/f over for a BBQ. However, I told them there would be rules and boundaries. No smoking in the house, when smoking outside of the house an ashtray must be used at all times (one would think this is a no brainer), "inside voices" should be used at all times even though we would be sitting out back by the pool, the f-bombs should be kept to a minimum, and there was to be absolutely no drama. NO DRAMA.

As if. The day started off OK, except he refused to respect the using of an ashtray rule and decided it was OK to bring a cigarette into the pool. Then he thought it would be OK to set off a firecracker in my backyard. Then after being told as nicely as I could muster that this was unacceptable behavior, he did it again but from my upstairs deck, dangerously close to my neighbors house, my neighbors with 4 young children that don't particularly care for me to begin with. They would walk away from the table and leave their dishes sitting there. He left his soaking wet bathing suit on my wood floors. Ditto his pool towel. Then the drama began. The g/f and him were having an argument that was causing alot of in and out of the house, slamming of deck doors and numerous walks down the block to argue.

This is when I pulled the plug and told them it was time to get picked up. The party was over. Now he starts ranting and screaming and trying to grab beer to take with them. He then started with the F- yous and how he would see me at the next holiday and what a f-ing bitch I am.

Smells like using behavior to me...

Monday, July 14, 2008

The news slows, people forget...

Locally, where I live, there has been a marked increase in the recreational use of a purer, more dangerous form of heroin. Small heroin rings have been busted as close as 8 miles from my home. A young girl of 18 overdosed shortly after her graduation last month, in the town I moved from last year. A young man, from a "good" family (as if it matters...) in that same neighborhood was arrested over the weekend for possession and intent to sell heroin. A boy we knew from the area, had been clean for a good year or two when the Prince was actively using, bonce brought my drunken, pilled up, passed out son safely to our home. I read two weeks ago that this kid was arrested for selling heroin.

Heroin was not my sons DOC. He used it a few times that I know of. (key words- THAT I KNOW OF) One time included an almost fatal overdose. The Prince's current poison is alcohol.

But basically, where I was trying to go with this, is that our newspapers, sort of kind of reported these stories some where deep within there pages. Articles that included information that was given to local school districts to be aware of this ever increasing LOCAL problem. That the schools should be more involved, more informed, in closed communication with the parents when they see a kid is in trouble. To take the shame out of this and bring it to the dinner table. That bad things DO happen to good kids. You know, the kind of things those of us with addicts as children have been screaming about for years.

My question is this. Why oh why does the birth of Brangelinas twins get front page coverage and this stuff just gets buried somewhere deep within the paper? I mean seriously folks, am I the only one who could give a damn less about these babies and the millions of dollars their first photos will fetch??

Tuesday, July 08, 2008

Somethings at the edge of your mind, you dont know what it is...

Alot of blogging to catch up on, but alot of work to catch up on too, so I am going to just throw out a list on some of the things that have been happening and will elaborate more when I have some time.

> I have finally, at long last, come to realize I do not need a man in my life to make me happy. I am having so much fun this summer spending time with girlfriends, old and new and just having fun.

> It is still nice to have a man attracted and interested in you and I am learning how to date without jumping into a serious, sexual relationship.

> I do kind of miss the sex thing though. LOL

> Going to see a show on Broadway is just about the most wonderful way to spend a Saturday afternoon. Seeing a show starring the Fabulous Ms. Patti LaPone just brings it to a whole other level. They really just do not make good old fashioned stars any more. She is brilliant. I had goosebumps. She is a demi-god and I worship her. Seriously.

> Spending a long summer weekend at the beach with La Petit and his best friend, making smores by a bonfire, walking along the beach watching the sunrise, root beer floats in town... just blissful.

> Learning to spend within my means, closing all of my credit card accounts and living on a cash only policy is humbling. But if feels good to not have any credit card debt.

> Letting go of the ones we love does not get any easier, but it must be, even when you think you can take them home and keep them on the right path. It is in G-ds hands now and I can still love him and have a relationship with him. On my terms.

> Bullies suck. Even more so when they are your own brother and they continue to verbally and emotionally abuse your mother.

> Being a single mom and teaching a friend who is also about to be a single mom how to pump their own gas (seriously), well, it's just good to pass on even the simplest of lifes little pleasures to help one of my own get a little stregnth.

> Alcohol. {{{sigh}}} It is destroying my family on some level, one of us at a time. I am even starting to have some concerns about my own imbibing. And as we all know, normal drinkers dont ever worry about their drinking.

> The best advice I could ever offer anyone is to relish every moment with your loved ones. When they are gone, you will miss them more than words can say.

Hope you are all well and taking some time out to enjoy the lazy days of summer.